Life. Moves. On.
|Posted on December 11, 2018 at 4:15 PM||comments (0)|
What many people don’t know is that this guy and I didn’t just happen. I always thought relationships that were “natural” meant that you meet someone you like and then boom, you hit it off and that’s that. I fooled myself into thinking it was supposed to just be easy. If there’s anything that my relationship with this guy has taught me is that it’s so much more than an attraction that makes things last. It is commitment, patience, friendship, laughter, forgiveness, appreciation, and even tough love. Then there’s things bigger than you, like destiny, faith, and timing. For me, it was allowing the space between time and both of our equal presence to create something greater than just him or I alone. Love doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice who you are, your goals, or dreams for the sake of another. But, you both have to want it and that means the good, the bad, and the ugly. Love isn’t about falling head over heels for someone. No, it’s about finding someone you can walk in love with. Someone you can count on when it doesn’t add up. Don’t give up on finding something great and settle because you’re afraid of being alone. Those weeks, months, and even years on single-hood are sometimes your golden years. They just make the time worth the wait when the right one comes along.
|Posted on November 14, 2018 at 2:15 AM||comments (231)|
May all your vibes say: I got this.
Remember, self- care is how you take your power back from things trying to weigh you down- like negative thoughts, our fears, and anxiety.
I believe that self-love comes in many forms. Learning to love yourself has to be one of the most challenging, dynamic and eye opening experiences in my opinion.
We're not taught how to love ourselves and often grow our perceptions of ourselves by the opinions of others. Today, I have a greater appreciation of loving myself. I've learned the importance of knowing myself and not allowing the opinion of others to take away how I see myself. But that comes with me doing the work to make myself proud of the person I am- inside and out. When you not only love the person in the mirror but the person you were and the person you’re becoming.... you’re unstoppable.
“One day you will take your final breaths, and none of the external opinions or internal fears will matter. What will matter is how you loved, learned, laughed and lived.”
|Posted on September 30, 2018 at 9:15 PM||comments (57)|
13 years ago, before beginning my senior year of high school, I developed an under-active thyroid condition. This brought on its own challenges I had to deal with for years...it never goes away. 5 years ago, after ending a toxic relationship, I began therapy. I went every week for over just a year. You probably remember my deep journal entries on my website under “therapy-inspired.” I’ve always needed justification for why things happened or need to happen, and why we do the things we do. Over the years, I was fortunate to have a diverse group of friendships/relationships that began and also ended in my life. Some lasted only for a season, others for a few years. I’m grateful for each person and the chapter they brought me, because it molded me into the person I am today. One of the greatest lessons I have been fortunate to learn overtime is that happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a job, or college degree. It starts with your thoughts and what you tell yourself everyday. How you talk to yourself is KEY to not only your fundamental development in life, but how others perceive you. There are going to be enough people who don’t believe you’ll reach your goals, enough people who want you to do the things they do, and enough people who are just as lost in life that think they know what’s best for you (family included). We’re all in the same boat... trying to find our way. Don’t be afraid of the confusion, it’s normal. Don’t be afraid of being lost, you’ll eventually find your path. In the meantime, be confident in who you are and know you are DIVINE, my dear. In all your glory....you are ENOUGH. Don’t change to accommodate those who are uncomfortable in your choices, because I promise you...the right people for you will love you for YOU and that is always enough. Here’s to another year. 29 on the 29th.
|Posted on September 26, 2018 at 6:20 PM||comments (4)|
In a few days, I’ll be turning 29. I’ve always enjoyed reminiscing back on the past year to share what I’ve learned in hopes that it may help someone. One of the greatest lessons I learned was the power of taking back control in your life. We have ALL faced hardships in our life that impacted our health, perspective, confidence, and peace. Whether it was a bad breakup, job loss, stress, toxic people in your life- whatever. We’ve all been there. Personally, I used to victimize myself to circumstances that occurred and say, “Why me?” This petty, negative thinking didn’t lead me far, and instead, hindered my growth because I identified my entire self with the trauma I experienced. When that’s all you choose to see in yourself, you have no idea who you are outside of the trauma and that is terrifying. It wasn’t until I realized that no one was standing in my way of achieving my goals, except me, that I gained back my power. It still takes practice, but I try to remind myself that keeping my head high is the only way to see things more clearly. When shit hits the fan and life hands you a bitter lemon, you can choose to take it and just accept what’s been handed to you. But, that’s not a fun way to live. Instead, you can choose to take that same bitter lemon and make lemonade from it... meaning you use it to grow and become better than before. If you never tasted a bad lemon, just like not experiencing tough times, you wouldn’t know how to appreciate the more enjoyable ones. Remember, the bad times make the good times better so don’t be afraid of facing them, be afraid of staying in the bad times. Remember the only way to see the light is to keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. ✨
|Posted on September 26, 2018 at 6:20 PM||comments (90)|
I remember reading years back, “The truth will hurt, but let it. The truth requires change, and change can be painful. That’s why they call it growing pains.” This year has been such an eye opening experience for me. Just yesterday, I met with another person who’s “lost.” We’ve become so accustomed to living our lives focused on our dreams, goals, and ambitions that we’ve forgotten to stop and ask how others around us are doing. I’m sad to say many aren’t ok. There are many, too many, struggling to remember they ARE enough. Too many struggling to find their purpose in this great, big world. Why? Well, because maybe they’ve been sitting in the shadows of their past or maybe because they’ve forgotten to look past the horizon. There’s so much more in life than what meets the eye, yet we get so caught up in our everyday “battles,” that we forget how good we have it. Sure, we will always want more of this, more of that, but I firmly believe the people who achieve greatness are the ones who stop and appreciate the wonders of what has been given to them and that’s not always the fruits of your own labor. Sometimes it’s the big “little” things like the ocean air, sand, and sun on your shoulders. Stop and appreciate it every now and then because what I can promise you is that even if the tide is high right now and you’re drowning, even in the shallow ends, you’re going to come out. No matter how much the unfamiliar, uncomfortableness, and rockiness of this thing we call life can hurt, be confusing and scary... don’t resist what needs to occur to take you where you’ve always needed to be. Destiny is never late and that’s the beauty of the journey. No matter how much we want to believe we’re controlling our destination, it’s been predetermined. We just need to keep showing up and appreciate where we are in the moments that will one day be just a stepping stone to get us where we are supposed to be. Keep riding the waves, my dear. No matter how rough they can get, please promise me you won’t spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above that you forget how much you’ve always loved to swim.
|Posted on September 24, 2018 at 8:20 PM||comments (6)|
Growing up, we’re taught to work hard for the “good life.” That typically is masked as materialistic items such as nice cars, clothes, and luxurious items. As we grow older and wiser, we learn a simple truth: Not all that shines is gold, and that’s okay. With the years, I’ve become more confident, happy, and secure in knowing my idea of what’s “gold” doesn’t have to be same as you and yours. We live in a world where comparing is easy to do, judging is the new norm, and good is never good enough because he/she has this. I’ve always believed that this is due to our devices being in the palm of our hands- thanks to social media, it’s so easy to compare. This year alone, I’ve met with close to 10 people who are struggling to find their own path. Society has told them that they are “behind.” This isn’t true. Your journey is yours...own it. One thing I want you to always remember is that not all things are as good as they look. Beauty on the outside does not always equal good quality. Everything that is shiny or fancy does not mean it is valuable. The reality is nothing shines brighter than a heart of gold and my dear, that is priceless. Happy Thursday, beauties.
|Posted on August 27, 2018 at 12:30 PM||comments (0)|
DON'T MIX BAD WORDS WITH YOUR BAD MOOD.
YOU'LL HAVE MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO CHANGE A MOOD,
BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO REPLACE THE WORDS YOU SPOKE.
Life is too short to spend minutes, hours, days, or weeks angry. It’s just simply, too short. We all have a choice and that’s to be the bigger person everyday, despite circumstances... we must practice being more patient and willing to listen. I truly believe some people will bring out the best in you and others the worst. What tends to happen with people that bring out the worst in you is a toxic relationship between you develops that makes you sick, brings you anxiety, causes restless nights, and affects your day emotionally and physically weighing you down. Fighting is inevitable- that’s not what defines a relationship that is great. There’s no such thing. It’s mastering the art of respecting one another when you’re most frustrated with the least amount of patience. It’s realizing that love is so much stronger than any sudden anger, upset, or frustration you feel. It’s communicating. It’s listening. It’s forgiveness and most importantly, probably above all, it’s realizing no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all will have our good and days. But it’s remember that the bad times make the good times better and as @jlo recently said in her speech at the VMA’s, “My life is sweeter and better with you in it because you make me realize that everyday; the sky is not the limit. The universe is infinite, and so is what we can accomplish together, with love and trust and understanding.” That is love.
|Posted on August 23, 2018 at 3:55 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted on July 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM||comments (79)|
I'm not an easy person to impress- never have been. I think this is particularly do to my uncle treating me like a princess growing up. When I say princess, I don't mean spoiling me. I mean opening doors, complimenting me, remembering special dates and making me feel safe. He would always say, "You're so sweet, but you're a tough cookie." It's true. I often hear from people, "I wouldn't want to see you mad." Not because I'm an angry person, but because I'm a happy person. I have a lot of patience for some things, but I also have none for bullshit. I used to be a pushover and just take things thrown my way, but not anymore. I haven't been that way for some time now. I stopped living for others and that made all the difference. The other day, a follower asked, "What does perfect look like to you?" Truth be told, there's no such thing as perfect. We all know this. But the closest type of character that defines this that I can think of is sung by Dierk Bentley. The song is called, "Riser." In the song, he sings he's a fighter, "mean enough to stare your demons down." I love that. I've put a LOT of walls up- after being fucked over from others, this tends to happen. You do anything to protect yourself, your soul. As much of an open book I am, those who truly know me, know there’s so much more to me than what people see. As loving as I am, I am also stubborn so I really need someone who's able to put me in my place, because sometimes I need it. We all do. Someone who's not going to give up on us, who'll continue to try and who's a "trier." Listen to the song. Figure out what you kind of companion you need. Be that. Stand tall, alone. When you do that, the right people for you will break down your walls... no matter how fucking high they are. Don't settle.
|Posted on July 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM||comments (31)|
Have you read “The 5 Love Languages?” How about “Attached?” We all have different perceptions of what love is and how we feel it. I think the root of most failed relationships is not knowing or knowing and not giving that person the kind of love they need. Because we all love differently, we measure how fulfilled we feel in our love unique from our partners. For example, you may feel love by receiving gifts. This means that you may enjoy holding hands and them doing the dishes, but to you, love is defined by receiving roses randomly. Let’s say your primary love language is quality time. You crave intimate moments of being together & making memories. No matter how many gifts they give you, it wouldn’t compensate for the time with them you crave. Simple, right? Find out what your better half needs to feel loved and do it. The tricky part, though, is understanding how THEY perceive that love language. For example, you know their love language is quality time so you think by watching t.v. with them you are spending time together. Nope! That’s not always the case. To some, it means the T.V. has your attention- not your spouse. They may view quality time together as time doing things involving your undivided attention. These books opened my knowledge to a greater understanding of what love is because it has helped me realize that your primary love language will help you know what it means and how you can use it to connect with others. #read