Life. Moves. On.
|Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:35 PM||comments (8)|
Do you ever stop and wonder, “How the f*^k did I get through what I got through?” Surprisingly, most people don’t ask themselves that. I wish more did. I wish we stopped and looked back a bit more. Not because the past should be holding you down, but rather... the opposite. I’m not afraid of looking back on my past. I thrive off of it. I know what I’ve endured and why it has made me who I am today. I know that everything that’s ever happened to me, good or bad, was never to hurt me- but to allow me to stand tall today. I am who I am because of my past, but I’ll never allow myself to become a victim to it. I’ve battled sadness, self-doubt, fear, anxiety, comparison, defeat, and most of all, realizing I don’t have to be anyone but me. I was born in the U.S., but raised by immigrants and a lot of who I am is because of them. I was voted “Best all around” my senior year in high school- it caused more bad than good. I put unnecessary pressure on myself in thinking I had to maintain an “image” of what that meant in the eyes of others. I was in a long distance relationship that resulted in trying to save someone who didn’t want to be saved.
I had people I thought were “friends” teach me by taking advantage of my kindness what a real friend is. I’ve lost myself, found myself, and am constantly working on deciding what and who I want to be. But one thing that is different about the girl you see here today vs. the one say 5, 7 and even 10 years ago is that she’s proud of where she’s been, where I am, and where I am going and that has always been enough. No one is going to come and love you until you know that YOU, with all your flaws and fears and challenges are damn perfect. Own you, my love. Because at the end of the day, your voice is the loudest amongst any crowd. So, thank you to all those who’ve wronged me. I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, next.
|Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:30 PM||comments (16)|
One thing that I, you, we tend to be guilty of is shaming ourselves for turning a year older- especially women. You hear it all the time, “Don’t ask a woman her age.” But, why? Each year is something to celebrate and be proud of. I think the greatest reason we don’t celebrate is often because we associate age with accomplishments or lack thereof. “I want to be married, have kids, own a home, retire by, etc.” We put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve dreams, but the beauty of a dream is that there’s no expiration date on them. Remember, you’re allowed to reach your faith, calling, passion, meet your love, have children at the time destiny has for you. Maybe you have more to learn, more to see, and more to grow. Trust the timing of your life and let go and watch how many more things will come your way. Keep on keeping on and move forward with confidence and grace. It will come to you in due time. Promise. Chin up, Queen. You got this.
|Posted on March 26, 2019 at 1:45 PM||comments (14)|
I recently had an old friend and follower reach out to me in hopes of being heard regarding his current relationship which is long distance. For those of you who’ve been following me for several years, you’d know that I’ve been in a long distance relationship and were apart for a year. While I’m no expert when it comes to love, relationships and how to handle breakups- I can offer you my advice based on personal experiences and the experiences of my friends. From my own personal experience, I’d say that long distance is very, very hard. It’s the truth. It’s difficult to share experiences physically with someone when they cannot be there, but what’s harder is if there is no trust. What tends to happen is the person who’s away often begins to question you- out of natural fear. This tends to cause a shift in the dynamic of power between two people. When one person begins to feel a lack of equality in the relationship, a push-pull dynamic begins. This continues and continues until neither can no longer handle it. That’s the truth. I truly feel the only way this can be avoided is CLEAR communication prior to being apart of your goals in the relationship, the long term plan and an overall idea of what both partners need to feel good moving forward. Communication is essential but not only when apart... before. This important step is often forgotten and the excitement of loving one another is not enough to sustain the emotions of jealousy, fear, and not being able to relate when finally apart. #communication
|Posted on February 11, 2019 at 11:25 AM||comments (92)|
|Posted on February 8, 2019 at 11:25 AM||comments (83)|
I’m not the type of person that really cringes when she sees old pictures of herself in the past. It actually makes me happy to realize in just a few short years, how much we, things, life can change. I went to bed last night listening to a meditation that reminded me that nothing in life is permanent and things can change in a blink of an eye. This is so important to remember when going through a tough time. Remembering that this too, shall past. A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I were going through my old photos I’ve taken in the month of February- laughing, especially pictures of me as a blonde. This picture popped up and I shared with him a little about what the picture was and together we laughed and continued looking at others. This photo was taken on February 8, 2015- just 4 years ago from today. On paper, it sounds not too long ago but in perspective and realization of who I was then, it’s a lifetime for me. You see, this photo is of me and a guy my friends basically set me up with. On paper, he had all the things I’d consider “good.” He had a career as a chiropractor, he made me feel beautiful, and desired. He even delivered Valentine’s Day strawberries to my office. Despite all these things that would make a girl feel ecstatic to pursue this possibility, it didn’t for me. Because these things aren’t enough to make relationships last and I learned that not long before this. I wasn’t ready to date, but I also knew that all this would do for me was kill time and take away from what I really needed to focus on and that was me, myself and I. This didn’t last long. Maybe 2 months max and got as far as a kiss on the cheek. I don’t like to drag things on when I know in my heart it’s not for me. Exactly 14 days after, on the next photo, is me- alone, happy and helping kids run at the beach. The reality of growth is that you’re never done. It’s indefinite and you keep learning and becoming different versions of you and my hope is that whether you’re on this chapter now, you remember that all good things come with time. Don’t be afraid to give up the mundane for something greater- and that may just simply be you, smiling, alone.
|Posted on January 17, 2019 at 2:20 AM||comments (24)|
|Posted on January 17, 2019 at 2:20 AM||comments (1)|
One of the most common questions I am asked through email or DM on my blog, @lifemoveson21 is, “ ?” If we only knew how many people are struggling with finding joy within themselves, I think we’d all be more compassionate toward others. We wouldn’t preconceive people- remembering everyone is struggling a battle no one knows about. The truth is, everyone is trying to make it. Making your happiness and personal growth a priority in your life is often thought to be selfish. However, it allows you to take care of in the long run. Knowing how to do that is tricky. Part of it is learning to transmit positive energy, words of kindness, and faith in yourself after experiencing all the things that have tried to weigh you down. For me, one of the greatest journeys I went on was challenging myself to understand my past. I did this through therapy and writing a book. I wanted to understand my heart and that meant stripping it down to the core to really know who I am, but more importantly... who I wanted to become. At one point in my life, I became very cynical towards the idea of love. I felt it wasn’t for me because I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of having my heart broken again. By the way, I’m not only referring to a love figure. I grew up with strong negativity from my dad and his words were always harsh on me. I’ve learned to forgive him with the help of therapy, but to say they didn’t affect me for a long time is a lie. For the record, having a boyfriend is not solely the reason why I’m happy. Sure, being with a wonderful man has brought me more smiles and laughter... but he and I both know, when we were ready to be together, I was already in a place of happiness. I worked hard to find a “me” that I loved and no one can take that from you. Happiness is a very personal thing, my dear, and has nothing to do with others. When you realize you’ve given others that power, .Your health, your peace, your smile are worth it. You come first. Everything else, like dancing in the snow with your loved one is just icing on the cake. I hope this helps anyone trying to find self-love today.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (0)|
"ONCE YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO LAST FOREVER.
BUT IN REALITY, IT ONLY LASTS AS LONG AS YOU'RE WORKING FOR IT.
IF ONE OF YOU STOPS WORKING, IT FALLS APART."
No I in team. Two people need to contribute. Two people need to care. Two people need to respect one another. Two people need to want it. That’s the only way it’ll work, that’s the only way it’s always been. The minute one side carries the weight to two is often when unhappiness begins. Help your partner. Love your partner. Speak to your partner. Listen to your partner. Always ask how you can be of more help, how you can be more loving, nurturing, etc. Ask, Speak, Communicate.... over and over and over again.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (0)|
Life is too short to allow anything or anything who disrespect you and take advantage of your kindness. Always remember you have a choice: to sit in pain or to walk away. You always have the choice to leave when respect is not being given. Whether it’s someone talking down to you, ignoring you, or calling you hurtful names- you have a choice. I’ve always said you can tell how much a person cares by how much they’re willing to keep trying and showing effort. Actions speak far louder than words so trust when words are only followed by action. That means, knowing when enough is enough and what’s not worth fighting for.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (0)|
Even after all this time together, both of us constantly always ask each other, “Isn’t it crazy how we’re together?” Neither of us ever thought we’d date. Over 4 years ago, we tried and I shut it down before it even began. I sensed maybe he was going to be an inconsistent guy and told him it wouldn’t work out. I never even gave him the opportunity to prove he was different. I wasn’t ready and was not willing to risk having my heart broken. He wasn’t happy about it... even texting me on New Year’s Eve a few weeks after to attempt dating again. For whatever reason, something told me he was a great guy and sometimes, we tend to run from not only things we need and want, but are good for our mind, body and soul. We run to what is familiar and that’s exactly what I did. I continued going after the same kind of guy I had only known. The familiar, as much as we hate it, is a comfort zone. During those following 3.5 years after, we remained friends. Texting each other on holidays and even going to a few concerts together as friends. Nothing ever happened- even when we first began dating. We never kissed, “hooked up,” etc.
There was always a level of respect and boundary between us, despite how obvious the attraction and chemistry always has been. I think that’s why when the timing was finally right, we came in with such a different level of respect at giving it a shot. We were clear from the beginning of what we wanted, our needs, wants, and I wasn’t shy about vocalizing that. If you didn’t know, I’m a control freak and consistently is the #1 thing I need in all things otherwise I feel unbalanced and unhappy. Last night, I read a beautiful quote. It read, “Part of being in a relationship and loving someone is making yourself vulnerable. It's accepting the fact that your partner can destroy you, but trusting they won't.” If you’ve recently had your heart broken and wondering if you should trust another person again, know this. No one is going to make you feel ready until you are. Don’t worry about turning away people you’re not ready to accept today. As cliche as it sounds, if things are meant to be... they will. When the time is right. Just keep working on yourself.