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Posted on September 23, 2016 at 12:15 PM Comments comments (0)

"Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were."

There's always more truth to a story than the one we hear, because often times, we are only hearing one side. Listening to one side is one truth of what really happened. My mom always taught me to be a bigger person in situations and in that she meant to take the high road. To some, that means forgiving those who've wronged us. To me, it's cutting those people off. This didn't come naturally to me because I'm a very forgiving person and I've even sacrificed my own self worth in the past to accommodate to other's comfort. After finding that it did me no good, I tried something different. I tried cutting ties that didn't need to be together. Some knots are meant to be untied, cut and let loose. I'm not here to prove to anyone who's right or who's wrong- I just do what's good for me. Not everyone will get that or agree or accept that your reasonings are enough for the choices YOU've made for yourself. Isn't that funny? Who cares? Yes, who cares. Do what's right for you, right now, and in your heart. The truth of the matter is that no matter what, people will always perceive a situation in their own light. No matter your motives, reasoning or choice- it's not going to make sense to them and people who don't get things, judge them or hate them. Know that whether you're guilty of doing so or have, it's never too late to change. It's never too late to stop judging, assuming or basing your own interpretation of something based on what you see, feel or think to be true. There's always more to a story than the one you see or hear. Still, know your truth and as long as you know it in your heart, you won't need to explain it to others who only see their perfection to be true.


Posted on September 23, 2016 at 12:15 PM Comments comments (0)

"Shoutout to those fighting a battle that no one understands or knows about. Stay strong and keep going."

Psychology is interesting to me. Have you ever heard the term, cognitive dissonance? It is when we believe something is true, the less likely we are to believe that its opposite is true, even in the face of clear evidence that shows we are wrong. There is a disconnection between what we believe in our minds and what we experience in reality. I think that this effects us in life so greatly because no matter the facts, we've made a pre-conceived decision or perception of the situation in our minds. This already made belief may be what's holding you back from living in happiness. May it be that you have decided you'll never succeed, find love or peace. You see, by creating the mindset to fail, lose or not "win," even if opportunity knocked on your door for real love, commitment, success- you wouldn't be able to see it. You've built an image and choice in your mind of what that is, subconsciously. Today, I ask you to share with a good friend or spouse something that you'd like to have your perception changed on. Whether it is that all men cheat, you can't get into Med school, or whatever- hear yourself say it out loud and ask yourself, "Am I benefiting myself by thinking this?" Change starts within, my dear. We're all fighting inner demons, voices that tell us we're no good, not enough or need to do better. I'll tell you this, you're more than enough- you're the best. Go get em, tiger. I believe in you.

Never settle.

Posted on September 20, 2016 at 1:10 PM Comments comments (0)

"Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn't settle for it."

I think that there are a lot of things in life worth sacrificing for, but your self-worth should never be one. You should never feel compelled to stay where you're not appreciated, not heard, not felt. Your love is exquisite and deserves to feel that way and that only occurs when you're appreciated for who you are.

For you....never against you.

Posted on September 6, 2016 at 1:15 PM Comments comments (0)

Earlier this week, I went on a mini getaway. While in the desert, I met a beautiful lady. I didn't expect to meet so many people who'd inspire me, but I did. I met a lady who's 65 years old and has been married to her husband since she was 19. She was at the same resort as me, getting away after losing her mother just three days before. My friend and I let her vent to us, because we could see she not only needed it but she was a sweetheart. She told us how things have changed so much between her and her husband. Not because the love wasn't there, but illnesses affected both of them. They've been hit by nearly everything you could think of, but she said one assurance she always has given him is that she will always come back to matter what. However, after years of caring the ill, including her husband, mother and others- she found the value of taking care of herself. She told us that we have to and that's it's impossible to love another without first serving our own needs- especially our mental peace. I told her I was guilty of this in the past too- having given all my attention to someone who needed it at the time. It was challenging to change who I was- a person who always gave. Today, I'm a lot more selfish with my time, space and who I allow in my company. I think it's unfair to ourselves to carry the weight of the world without leaving room for us to grow. Your greatest chapters are the ones where you face yourself- your demons and the voices in the back of your mind. When you confront them, it's amazing what happens. Either you listen to them or drown them. I challenged both for a long time and the result thus far is a girl who's not afraid of who she is-flaws and all. It's a girl who's not afraid of looking forward and immensely grateful for the past. It's a girl who's realized with time that EVERYthing that has happened wasn't to her, but for her. My advice? Believe that everything that has or is happening to you is for your benefit. I promise there's no room to lose with that mentality. Now, go win.

Nothing good gets away

Posted on August 1, 2016 at 11:40 PM Comments comments (0)

"if it it right, it happens-

The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away."

Always has been my philosophy in life. What's meant for you will always be yours and what isn't, in 100 years will never be. Do you know how much stress this has saved me from feeling? Let. It. Go.


Posted on July 25, 2016 at 5:05 PM Comments comments (0)

"You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wondeful-or where you always wanted to be. You will be grateful that things didn't work out the way you once wanted them to..."

For the longest time, I knew my story, my experiences and my journey could help so many people and I wanted to share it. The problem is, Ive never been fully transparent to everything that happened or I felt along the way because I've been more concerned with how I'd make others look, how it would sound to some or what it meant in others' minds. It wasn't until I watched a video of a mother who said, "All my kids are mad at me right now. They're mad at me because I parented them. That's my job." Another time, I overhead a comedian express the fact that they too, realized that they didn't connect with their audience until they finally were honest about their divorce, upbringing, etc. The truth is, it is not my job to protect "them." It's my job to be honest and speak the truth so I can help others through MY experiences, and how can I do that if I'm withholding what I went through, how I felt and how I came in out of. Along the journey of becoming who you're meant to be today and tomorrow, you're going to take SO many detours and you're not going to be sure if some roads are the right ones. Know that it's no accident the places you've been, feelings you've felt, people you've met, lost, gained, and challenges you've surpassed. Today, I wanted to put myself in a friend's shoes so I can help them the best I can during a tough time. I wanted to remember what it felt like when I was there, but I couldn't remember the pain I once felt like I thought I'd never forget. Sure, I remember the emotion I felt- sad, but I couldn't feel it no longer nor could I express the feelings of it. To me, that was rewarding because you don't see that day coming or are aware it will ever happen when you're feeling so incredibly sad; but one day, someone will ask you about it, and you don't know how you got where you did, but it doesn't hurt like it used to.


Posted on July 25, 2016 at 4:50 PM Comments comments (0)

"Allow them to say and think whatever they want about you. You know your truths; you don't have to prove anything to anyone."

-Sylvester McNutt III

It's going to soon be 10 years since I've graduated high school. What not many people may know about me is that for years I let once incident scar me- let me explain. I was voted "Best all around" my senior year and was the only name mentioned in the graduation speech. Both recognitions were SO kind and heartwarming, that I left high school proud and honored to have had touched people positively. Fast forward to a few months into college that following year when apparently an old classmate saw me, waved and assumed I ignored him. At the time, I had very poor eyesight. So poor that I had lasik surgery years later to correct it. That same guy went and told a friend of mine, "Wow, Shima has changed." That comment came back to me and really affected me. "Changed?" It put me in an odd state of mind where I questioned everything I ever did or who I was as a person. Today, almost 10 years later, I'm proud to say I've grown a lot from that fear of caring what people think. After that incident, I went to therapy for other reasons and brought it up to my therapist, Kevin. He helped me realize the effect of caring what people think can do to my growth, future and career. It takes a lot to not judge someone for who they are, but it's SO much easier when you realize you know absolutely nothing about their struggles at home, in relationships, at work, etc. That experience thought me to not only be more compassionate to other's, but to also stop caring so much what others think...because truthfully, you can never make everyone happy and it's not your job to. Say what you feel, do what you please and be confident in who you are. You're you, and that's ok.

Good Vibes.

Posted on June 13, 2016 at 3:05 PM Comments comments (0)

"You attract the energy that you give off. Spread good vibes. Think positively. Enjoy life."

Life is good when your circle is small. I wish kids understood this young. You don't "choose" your team, you attract them and what you give, you get. Here and there, you'll meet some idiots... But you'll also thank them later, possibly in silence. You don't need a whole lot of people on your sidelines, as long as you have one really amazing cheerleader you can hear throughout the noise. Shut off the chaos and turn up the speaker to the voice of the person(s) who genuinely care about you. Remember, only some people care-- the rest are just curious. So be thankful for the haters, they remind you that you're doing something right. If they weren't there, you wouldn't be considered a threat. You're fire, darling. Don't let them burn your flame. �� Tag someone who deserves to be reminded that they're amazing.

How will this benefit you?

Posted on May 16, 2016 at 9:45 PM Comments comments (60)

The dog on the left is named Becky. The dog on the right is named Bubba. I met Becky in late 2013 and wanted so badly to bring her home. Long story short, it didn’t work out so that I can adopt her. I was very sad, but things worked out for me…like they always have, do, and will. Just a few months later, I met Bubba. A dog with the same amount of letters in his name, but he was destined to be mine. I think back to that day when I found out I didn’t get Becky. I was BEYOND devastated- it was really the last disappointment I needed. I am blessed to have had Bubba come into my life for MANY reasons, but one of the best lessons he teaches me daily is believing in your heart that everything will work out to your benefit (in the end), even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Think about this- if we knew off the bat that all the shitty things that didn’t go our way, people we’ve lost and situations that didn’t work in our favor were in reality- WORKING FOR US, wouldn’t we feel so much differently in that moment? There is a song by Joe Purdy that goes, "Some things don't work out the way they should..." I've learned that in fact, they do! Things always work out as they SHOULD and because of that, I've recently promised to adapt that belief to my life more and more. If we can believe that whatever happens to us, whatever challenge we face- big or small, is going to bear amazing gifts to us down the line, maybe we would not dwell on the little things. Always ask yourself, “Is this going to matter in a year from now?”


Try to find the good in the bad and believe that it is benefiting you, and watch how things around you begin to change.



"Everything that happens to me, only happens so that I can benefited to the maximum amount possible..."


Posted on May 5, 2016 at 12:55 AM Comments comments (0)

Remember that besides the fact that no one is perfect....most relationships are not either. What is perfect is finding someone who's imperfectly perfect for you. Meaning that we all have flaws but a person's flaws should never be something that hinders your growth, affects your ability to become a better person or does not add value to your life. Instead, I hope their flaws are the minor things like forgetting to put the toilet seat down, taking too long to get ready, etc. Lastly, know that there is always two sided to what you see on the surface. Social media will show you sides of a relationship that may not be false, but is also only a factor of what that relationship is, has gone through, or even how many things they have wrong in it. So, don't define your idea of a good relationship off of an image that's easily filtered.