Life. Moves. On.
|Posted on April 1, 2019 at 12:35 PM||comments (247)|
They say that, “Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having NOTHING happen at all or by having EVERYTHING happen all at once.” It’s true; you don’t know how strong you are till being strong is your only option. Unfortunately, shitty people do shitty things. You can let a situation break you or choose to let it help you grow and rise above. The only way to move on from a hurtful situation without bitterness and anger is to understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer NEED to feel it. Over the years, I have realized how precious time and is how so many things such as people, past circumstances, and fear can rob us from blooming. Looking back, people have wronged me. Even when I was in my darkest days and felt incredibly sad, something told me to trust the journey and that meant chasing the little light at the end of the tunnel that was left. Sometimes it’s so damn hard to see, but you have to hold on for life to that little bit of hope left. Even if it’s a fraction of how you feel... hold on to it. I did and believed in things coming full-circle, because they always do. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but they will. When they do, the light at the end of the tunnel will never have been clear. You just have to keep moving forward until things in the rear view mirror no longer serve you. Live life in full bloom, my dear. Never stop growing.
|Posted on March 26, 2019 at 1:45 PM||comments (185)|
I recently had an old friend and follower reach out to me in hopes of being heard regarding his current relationship which is long distance. For those of you who’ve been following me for several years, you’d know that I’ve been in a long distance relationship and were apart for a year. While I’m no expert when it comes to love, relationships and how to handle breakups- I can offer you my advice based on personal experiences and the experiences of my friends. From my own personal experience, I’d say that long distance is very, very hard. It’s the truth. It’s difficult to share experiences physically with someone when they cannot be there, but what’s harder is if there is no trust. What tends to happen is the person who’s away often begins to question you- out of natural fear. This tends to cause a shift in the dynamic of power between two people. When one person begins to feel a lack of equality in the relationship, a push-pull dynamic begins. This continues and continues until neither can no longer handle it. That’s the truth. I truly feel the only way this can be avoided is CLEAR communication prior to being apart of your goals in the relationship, the long term plan and an overall idea of what both partners need to feel good moving forward. Communication is essential but not only when apart... before. This important step is often forgotten and the excitement of loving one another is not enough to sustain the emotions of jealousy, fear, and not being able to relate when finally apart. #communication
|Posted on February 11, 2019 at 11:25 AM||comments (130)|
|Posted on February 8, 2019 at 11:25 AM||comments (249)|
I’m not the type of person that really cringes when she sees old pictures of herself in the past. It actually makes me happy to realize in just a few short years, how much we, things, life can change. I went to bed last night listening to a meditation that reminded me that nothing in life is permanent and things can change in a blink of an eye. This is so important to remember when going through a tough time. Remembering that this too, shall past. A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I were going through my old photos I’ve taken in the month of February- laughing, especially pictures of me as a blonde. This picture popped up and I shared with him a little about what the picture was and together we laughed and continued looking at others. This photo was taken on February 8, 2015- just 4 years ago from today. On paper, it sounds not too long ago but in perspective and realization of who I was then, it’s a lifetime for me. You see, this photo is of me and a guy my friends basically set me up with. On paper, he had all the things I’d consider “good.” He had a career as a chiropractor, he made me feel beautiful, and desired. He even delivered Valentine’s Day strawberries to my office. Despite all these things that would make a girl feel ecstatic to pursue this possibility, it didn’t for me. Because these things aren’t enough to make relationships last and I learned that not long before this. I wasn’t ready to date, but I also knew that all this would do for me was kill time and take away from what I really needed to focus on and that was me, myself and I. This didn’t last long. Maybe 2 months max and got as far as a kiss on the cheek. I don’t like to drag things on when I know in my heart it’s not for me. Exactly 14 days after, on the next photo, is me- alone, happy and helping kids run at the beach. The reality of growth is that you’re never done. It’s indefinite and you keep learning and becoming different versions of you and my hope is that whether you’re on this chapter now, you remember that all good things come with time. Don’t be afraid to give up the mundane for something greater- and that may just simply be you, smiling, alone.
|Posted on January 17, 2019 at 2:20 AM||comments (227)|
|Posted on January 17, 2019 at 2:20 AM||comments (8)|
One of the most common questions I am asked through email or DM on my blog, @lifemoveson21 is, “ ?” If we only knew how many people are struggling with finding joy within themselves, I think we’d all be more compassionate toward others. We wouldn’t preconceive people- remembering everyone is struggling a battle no one knows about. The truth is, everyone is trying to make it. Making your happiness and personal growth a priority in your life is often thought to be selfish. However, it allows you to take care of in the long run. Knowing how to do that is tricky. Part of it is learning to transmit positive energy, words of kindness, and faith in yourself after experiencing all the things that have tried to weigh you down. For me, one of the greatest journeys I went on was challenging myself to understand my past. I did this through therapy and writing a book. I wanted to understand my heart and that meant stripping it down to the core to really know who I am, but more importantly... who I wanted to become. At one point in my life, I became very cynical towards the idea of love. I felt it wasn’t for me because I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of having my heart broken again. By the way, I’m not only referring to a love figure. I grew up with strong negativity from my dad and his words were always harsh on me. I’ve learned to forgive him with the help of therapy, but to say they didn’t affect me for a long time is a lie. For the record, having a boyfriend is not solely the reason why I’m happy. Sure, being with a wonderful man has brought me more smiles and laughter... but he and I both know, when we were ready to be together, I was already in a place of happiness. I worked hard to find a “me” that I loved and no one can take that from you. Happiness is a very personal thing, my dear, and has nothing to do with others. When you realize you’ve given others that power, .Your health, your peace, your smile are worth it. You come first. Everything else, like dancing in the snow with your loved one is just icing on the cake. I hope this helps anyone trying to find self-love today.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (2)|
"ONCE YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO LAST FOREVER.
BUT IN REALITY, IT ONLY LASTS AS LONG AS YOU'RE WORKING FOR IT.
IF ONE OF YOU STOPS WORKING, IT FALLS APART."
No I in team. Two people need to contribute. Two people need to care. Two people need to respect one another. Two people need to want it. That’s the only way it’ll work, that’s the only way it’s always been. The minute one side carries the weight to two is often when unhappiness begins. Help your partner. Love your partner. Speak to your partner. Listen to your partner. Always ask how you can be of more help, how you can be more loving, nurturing, etc. Ask, Speak, Communicate.... over and over and over again.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (9)|
Life is too short to allow anything or anything who disrespect you and take advantage of your kindness. Always remember you have a choice: to sit in pain or to walk away. You always have the choice to leave when respect is not being given. Whether it’s someone talking down to you, ignoring you, or calling you hurtful names- you have a choice. I’ve always said you can tell how much a person cares by how much they’re willing to keep trying and showing effort. Actions speak far louder than words so trust when words are only followed by action. That means, knowing when enough is enough and what’s not worth fighting for.
|Posted on December 27, 2018 at 2:20 AM||comments (3)|
Even after all this time together, both of us constantly always ask each other, “Isn’t it crazy how we’re together?” Neither of us ever thought we’d date. Over 4 years ago, we tried and I shut it down before it even began. I sensed maybe he was going to be an inconsistent guy and told him it wouldn’t work out. I never even gave him the opportunity to prove he was different. I wasn’t ready and was not willing to risk having my heart broken. He wasn’t happy about it... even texting me on New Year’s Eve a few weeks after to attempt dating again. For whatever reason, something told me he was a great guy and sometimes, we tend to run from not only things we need and want, but are good for our mind, body and soul. We run to what is familiar and that’s exactly what I did. I continued going after the same kind of guy I had only known. The familiar, as much as we hate it, is a comfort zone. During those following 3.5 years after, we remained friends. Texting each other on holidays and even going to a few concerts together as friends. Nothing ever happened- even when we first began dating. We never kissed, “hooked up,” etc.
There was always a level of respect and boundary between us, despite how obvious the attraction and chemistry always has been. I think that’s why when the timing was finally right, we came in with such a different level of respect at giving it a shot. We were clear from the beginning of what we wanted, our needs, wants, and I wasn’t shy about vocalizing that. If you didn’t know, I’m a control freak and consistently is the #1 thing I need in all things otherwise I feel unbalanced and unhappy. Last night, I read a beautiful quote. It read, “Part of being in a relationship and loving someone is making yourself vulnerable. It's accepting the fact that your partner can destroy you, but trusting they won't.” If you’ve recently had your heart broken and wondering if you should trust another person again, know this. No one is going to make you feel ready until you are. Don’t worry about turning away people you’re not ready to accept today. As cliche as it sounds, if things are meant to be... they will. When the time is right. Just keep working on yourself.
|Posted on December 11, 2018 at 4:15 PM||comments (0)|
What many people don’t know is that this guy and I didn’t just happen. I always thought relationships that were “natural” meant that you meet someone you like and then boom, you hit it off and that’s that. I fooled myself into thinking it was supposed to just be easy. If there’s anything that my relationship with this guy has taught me is that it’s so much more than an attraction that makes things last. It is commitment, patience, friendship, laughter, forgiveness, appreciation, and even tough love. Then there’s things bigger than you, like destiny, faith, and timing. For me, it was allowing the space between time and both of our equal presence to create something greater than just him or I alone. Love doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice who you are, your goals, or dreams for the sake of another. But, you both have to want it and that means the good, the bad, and the ugly. Love isn’t about falling head over heels for someone. No, it’s about finding someone you can walk in love with. Someone you can count on when it doesn’t add up. Don’t give up on finding something great and settle because you’re afraid of being alone. Those weeks, months, and even years on single-hood are sometimes your golden years. They just make the time worth the wait when the right one comes along.